Life's Little Beats

Charlie Who?

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 09:20:00 +0000

Do you know who this is?

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CHARLIE SWAN! or Billy Burke. or Bella Swan's dad. From Twilight. Whichever you know best.

Like fucking hawt can?

*Drools*

How could Twilight hide this Zeus-God-of-Greek resemblance under that moustache-y face?

By the way, I think Twilight should stop producing movies after New Moon. I watched it twice. The first time was okay. But the second time was unbearably boring. Lovey-dovey I-can't-live-without-you-you-are-my-everything-I-would-rather-die-without-you-by-exposing-my-ugly-pale-hairless-and-pack-less-chest-under-the-sun thing works on certain doses only. Too much of it makes you wanna puke and tear the screen.

I couldn't believe how unbelievably and ludicrously draggy the movie was when I watched it the second time which left me to wonder how come I didn't notice it the first time.

Was I too busy ogling Jacob?

HEHEHEHE.

Poor baby had to endure the arduous journey through the movie which he had always found so cliche and corny ever since the first one came out. I kept glancing in his direction whenever the corny scenes were on. And he went oh-so-adorably muttering under his breath something wtf-something-corny-something-no-better-lines-I-want-to-chew-myself-up which got me giggling and showered him with kishes to soothe him (on the cheeks kay?? We are very self-composed people. Ahem)

HARHAR. Too bad. Nothing else good was on. And it was my birthday. Boohoo. Give face can or not??

WHOA IM SO EFFING EXCITED TO WATCH THESE!

Eh I thought it's The Tooth Fairy?

Heh. The title is such a mouthful. Had to copy and paste to search for the poster. Lazy to remember. I'm a Dori X(

WTF WEH MY POCKET SEEMED TO HAVE EVOLVED INTO A BLACKHOLE AND I WANNA WATCH 6 MOVIES? Gimme gimme gimme more. Anyone wanna belanja ah? :(

Anyway, I'm gonna go and do extensive research (wah extensive?) on these movies to check their Rotten Tomatoes. Why? Because I wanna scratch out movies which are not worth watching on the screen. Alternative? DVD lor.

So if you are a lazier fat-coated bum than I am, check back on this post for an update on the ratings for each movie.

Aih. Christmas over already. Why am I still doing charity work? Harhar. JOKING.

Whoa. One post after another. Applaud can or not? :D

CSI: Caine Sucks Immensely

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 07:14:00 +0000

I woke up at 11 near afternoon AS USUAL. God save my body clock!

I always ended having lunch straight. And as usual, I wake up just in time to watch Leverage on AXN while savouring my less-than-tasteful lunch. My mom's a great cook, don't get me wrong but she's been cooking HEALTHY food nowadays. It's almost like I'm the ONE who just had a BABY (she's cooking for my sister-in-law who just gave birth). Well my dad has to eat too but that's beside the point.

You see, I'm a growing teenager who whines and rants alot like most teenagers (HAHA I see you in denial) and who also has exquisite taste buds. Hence, STEAMED fish and unappetizing vegetables will do the least to please my pampered stomach!

Ok back to Leverage.

It's a pretty cool show with unique concept. For those of you who don't know, it's similar to Robin Hood. Stealing from the guilty filthy rich to help the unfortunate and at the same time earn big bucks for themselves. I like the clever stunts they pull. Though I secretly wish the actors were hotter. Even the girls are NOT hot. Damn.

But today I only got to see the credits. HAHA.

:(

So another usual routine is watching CSI: Miami thereafter.

Which got me a little confused because I remembered watching CSI: New York for the past week and suddenly CSI: Miami is showing on weekdays now.

Anyway.. What I wanna comment about is CSI: Miami today. Cyber-lebrity (lame can anot?). It's about this girl Candace whose picture got posted on the internet and she became a celebrity overnight. I MEAN HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?? Even William Hung had to embarrass himself wearing less-than-disgraceful shirt and danced like he had an imaginary hula-hoop with an off-tune voice to top it off to be a famous.

Even this site agrees with me undoubtedly!

I've underlined words for emphasis. Lol.

Like freaking outrageous can?

And it was also about Horatio CAINE (notice the relevance to my post title now?). The main detective, cop whatever. Argento, some arson-murderer freak got jailed and his son, Damen, wanted revenge on Horatio. What made me slap myself in the head was why the hell did Damen go and steal Horatio's gun (which Horatio already emptied on purpose knowing that Damen will go and steal it and it's more WTF to me. HAHA) from his Hummer and confronted him with THAT gun? He's so poor is it? No money to buy his own decent gun. Which I don't think he is, poor that is.

I effing can't stand looking at Horatio. He tries too hard to act cool which he ends up looking like a goddamn zombie or Volturi.

See the resemblance? I know I do! Anyway, the wordings for the smiley says "Damn sibuk face". Looks pretty blur. Harhar.

I even did this!

And it suited perfectly. Well, almost at least. Heehee.

Well what do you know, someone actually shares my pain with Horatio.

With all that said, thumbs up for CSI: New York for me. At least they have hotter casts. Even hotter lead investigator, Mac Taylor. Yumms.

Now that's what I call a hottie detective. Woot woot.

Whatttt?? Pfffftttt of course that's not my lipstick on his faceeee... What makes you think that?

Okay that's a lie. Harhar. I added it using photoshop. Hee. Baby please don't kill me kayyy?

Comparison to Horatio.

Horatio, you can go suck Mac Taylor's sexy ass. BOO.

Hahahahahahaha. Wtf can?

Birthday Me!

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 14:19:00 +0000

Hola! Gosh I must've left my blog for so long that it had dust bunnies and cobwebs everywhere. Eeek. Net savvy spiders!

Yeah and I bet by now no one bothers to drop by seeing that I hardly ever update.

Tut tut tut.

Well, I'm looking to be updating now and then from now. That's pretty much the only thing I can do other than scratching my ass. Tsk tsk.

My birthday was about a week ago and I'm only updating now. Well people have been asking how was my birthday and what did the boyfie do. So here goes.

Let's rewind to a few days before the day. I was itching to ask what's the plan for my birthday. But I held back because I didn't wanna come across as being so full of myself. Hahaha. As the day inched by, he mentioned nothing of it. It got the better of me so I swallowed and chomped down my ego and asked :P

It's not that I wanted a great celebration but I was so worried that he had nothing planned at all. Well seeing that he doesn't celebrate Valentine's or our anniversaries, it wouldn't be surprising if he brushed off trying to do anything. Though honestly I'd dump him if that's the case. BWAHAHAHA.

So yeah I confronted (fuh confronted XD) him on MSN. He threw me off guard with his words. Wah. Brutal. Can't remember the exact conversation. So it's just a rough one. Hehe

Me: So what's the plan on my bday?
Him: Malas la nak plan. Just go with the flow.
Me: Malas?
Him: Ye la. Plans are for misfit couples. For kampung people. We are not like them so let's just go with the flow. It'll be fun.
Me: Orang kampung? At least plan WHERE to go.
Him: Ala.. I'll go to your house and we plan from there la.
Me: You wanna waste 30minutes planning where to go? Shouldn't we make full use of the day?
Him: Can you not be like Dina (wah brought in his ex-girlfriend)? Everything has to be detailed and planned.
Me: *Stunned and hurt* Okay
Him: It's your birthday, not work. Loosen up abit.

Brutal. Brutal. Later I gave up totally. I mean who wouldn't after such conversation? Haha. Every year I had hoped my birthday would one day be a memorable one. Since forever, I never had a proper birthday. Obviously, because my birthday falls without fail during the holidays no matter which country I am in. So no one would care to celebrate it with me other than drop wishes.

So yeah. I gave up hoping. Just let it be.

Plus plus plus, on the eve of my birthday my darling roomie, Alia and her darling boyfie Syakir surprised me! Heh I actually didn't buy the "Mel I'm coming to your place. Syakir and I have problems and we need a third person's view. Syakir will be coming too" First of all, there are so many uncertainties and doubts in her story. HAHA. On the contrary, I was skeptical anyone would wanna go to that length for my birthday because no one ever did. Gosh I sound so depressing. Hahaha.

Well yeah so they appeared at the lift, smiling so widely when I got out. Wow what happy "problematic" couple they are. LOL. At that moment it struck me. I knew it! Heh so much for the problem.

Anywaaayy, the brought me a pressie. Awwwww. It was a cute red Nine West bag. It's simple which is good because I like simplicity yet still pulling off style. I was touched that they actually thought of me. I mean college is pretty much over for us. AMIN. Syakir, Alia and I are all fast-trackers so we are done for college while many would have to continue for another 6 months. AMIN. Though I'm still in doubt about my results which I would lament on in the next post or so or this post will be lengthy.

We took a walk by the pool. We were at my bro's condo actually. Tropicana. They said they asked Anwar what he got me and he said malas nk fikir. YOU SEE! I told them whatever. I gave up.

Then, we went to have cake at Secret Recipe downstairs. YUMM.

Awww isn't it sweet? *Sob*

After that, they went back. Though it was just about an hour or so, I appreciated every bit of their effort. HEH. YOU WAIT, I will pull a big one on YOU guys. Problem konon. I'd say I'm about to get married and when you guys come to my wedding I'll go SURPRISE HAPPY BIRTHDAY BACK AT YA! Though that's ridiculous. Just an idea. Heee.

Ok back to Anwar "evil boyfie" Zainal. No wait, his name is actually Faris Anwar. Zainal is his dad. But he hates Faris so he stole his dad's name. Smooth move. Whatever. So yeah on the eve of my birthday which was later that night after the Alia-Syakir thing, he told me he was hang out with his friends so he can't text. Alrite.

I thought it was gonna be late 11pm when he comes back. Then, at around 9 or 10pm, he was online. I scratched my head. That was fast. He said he has something to tell me. He baked a cake for me. Awwwwwww. That's why he said he was hanging out when he was actually baking. Awwwwww. But he claimed it was bad so he told me. Was supposed to be a surprise O.O

He said it was sour. And usually a first time baker, which he was, would bake a chocolate cake. In my mind lah. So my first thought was, a sour chocolate cake? Must've turned out quite horrible. But I braved myself and said I don't care I wanna try it and said even if I died, I died trying your first cake. Whoa. So titanic.

Well I really wanted to try it anyway. It's not everyday a guy bakes for me :D So even if it's sour, bitter, saltish or he had thrown it, I'd ask him to dig it out of the dustbin to let me try.

............

Okay the last one is may not be true. Heee.

And he revealed that he actually planned something. He planned to have lunch at my favourite Steamboat restaurant in the Curve. Awwww. Though it was not a costly place, I'm not in it for the price. I'm in it for the good food weyh. Wah. A good fulfilling meal on my birthday. What's more to ask?

Pressie maybe. Heeee.

He said he was only acting like a bastard because he didn't want me to know. Tsk tsk. Made me feel guilty for launching nasty tantrums and tirade about him to someone. Heehee. Sowie baby. *sorry eyes*

What made me feel guiltier is on the next day, he turned up with a huge-ass birthday card that he made. AWWWWWWWWWW. But then it struck me, since when is Anwar Zainal so artsy-fartsy? He confessed that he only did the cutting. His sister helped with the ideas. HAH! I knew it! Just like last year. But just a whole lot bigger!

I ought to thank his sister though. Really sweet of her to help her art illiterate brother XD

Isn't it pwetty? The blue pouch on the top-left contains a letter written in pencil. I asked him why pencil? He said he didn't wanna make mistakes. HAHA. So cute. The letter's sho shweet.

And and the green envelope on the right contains as the title said it. But in little cards. I spotted "bimbo" and instinctively or more like accidentally (hehe) dropped it. I glared at him. Bimbo?? He just gave me that coy smile.

I tried the cake. Which was actually CHEESEcake. Haha. That explains the sour. Eh it wasn't that bad. I noticed a small packet of Oreo he must've bought at a petrol station. For a split second I thought that was my birtday gift. HAHA. He said to eat it with the cake to compensate for the nastiness. I was like it tasted fine on its own. Though it looked pretty messy :P And he only brought a slice. Cis.

Poor boy cut his hand while slicing lime for the cake :(

Then off to steamboat.

And walked a little bit. And finally went to Cineleisure for movie. Well I watched pretty much everything but I said I don't mind watching again. He suggested Twilight because the time was right. I was a bit hesitant because I didn't think it was a good movie to re-watch though I didn't mind ogling Jacob again. BWAHAHA. And he knew it wasn't. But everything else was too late. I think he was a lil bummed that I watched everything else already.

But HEY. You used to watch all the HIT movies with your friends and I ended up never getting to watch any of it! And the movies I watched were all so-so movies. HIT movies you watch with your partner okayyy. You better keep yourself available for me and only ME for Sherlock Holmes, Old Dogs, Toys Story 3 and Alvin and the Chipmunks or I'll chop your *censored* off!

And then we walked for a bit. Went to buy cupcakes. Craving since forever.

Actually we planned to go to Delicious near KLCC. He planned it. But then we were weighing the choice of me spending dinner with family. I didn't want my parents to think I'm spending the whole day with my boyfriend. But I know there wouldn't be anything much going on with the newborn baby of my bro's. So I didn't think they minded but at least I think they would appreciate me considering spending time with them on my birthday. And at least the next time my mom pulls off the you-care-more-for-your-friends-than-your-family-you-ungrateful-daughter, I'd have a case against her. She always does that. And it hurts alot especially when she doesn't even understand the situation.

So yeah. We postponed my birthday dinner to after he comes back from Hong Kong. I can't wait. He said there's a live band there and the food is extra delicious though I'm a bit skeptical. I thought every branch is the same. I hope there's a good movie out during that time too. Would be a great great day. Imma check it now. OMG did I mention the 2nd dose of Twilight was an eye-opener to how boring it actually was?? Seriously. I almost wanted to tear down the screen. While Anwar bickered over every corny scenes. HAHA. Typical of him. And I purposely annoyed him by swooning over Jacob everytime he appeared. Hee.

That's pretty much my birthday! Oh yeah and I had Sakae Sushi for dinner. Yum.

Well I thought there wouldn't be anything fancy given the situation of my parents' financial. But my bro gave my mom RM100 for my dinner because he can't go. Wife. Baby. Yeah. I lighted up abit. Hehe. And was happy that my parents get to eat something fancy after a long time. I was genuinely happy for them more than myself. I wish they could see how I'm nothing of what they perceive me as. I just have ego but I deeply care for them. I just don't show it. I know they have ego too. Especially my mom. At least I don't have to cry everyday hearing my mom accusing me hurtfully like I'm as horrible as a daughter who takes drugs, drinks, party everynight and everything else likewise. Sigh.

Wait this is supposed to be a happy post! *Wipes off pooled tears*

Haha.

It wasn't an extraordinary day from the narrative point of view. But to me it was :) Because my baby spent it with me. And his efforts. Just put warmth in my heart right at home. Thank you so much for the day. Mwah. I love you darling :)

So yeah. That's my birthday :D

New Temporary Look

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 14:17:00 +0000

Heya people.

Getting seriously bored of my old layout. Thus, I'm making every endeavour to try to design a new one. Finally, getting a head start but still trying to make it livelier and increasing the readability, not to mention attractiveness.

It's crucial really. I've gone through blogs that may have brilliant contents but it's hard to read or the design just doesn't captivate me to read on.

One problem though, I'm yet to figure out the HTML coding. *Groans*

I wish they had a dictionary for it. Wait. Maybe they do. But I'm just too lazy of a bum to go and ransack the bookstores. And even if I'm HARDWORKING enough to do so, I'd be lazier of a bum to read through the book. Heehee.

Whatttt..

Have you read those books for dummies or the likes of it? I'd rather go revise my SPM History subject. Seriously.

So right now, I'm using this weird but pretty blog template I've stumbled upon while doing my researches on tutorials for my design (hehe).

Bear with it for awhile kay? When I say awhile, it can mean... hehehehehe.

Toodles.

Ps: Don't click on the home, page 1, page 2 buttons. They lead you to a place where you wouldn't dream to wanna be at. Dramatic :D But those buttons came with the codes so yeah don't bother clicking.

My definition of Love

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:43:00 +0000

I sit by the window
Staring out into the sky
Of a starry night
Feeling trapped behind glass
I open the ledge
I walk outside on the roof
I lay down and bask in the breeze
Of the cold peaceful night.

Swimming in my thoughts
Trying to define the meaning of love
My heart aches as a boulder
hinders my way to true love
I begin to realize
the most painful feeling from love
is when you love someone so extraordinarily
Yet you cry everyday knowing
you could lose the person
you love because of a single flaw.

Love knows no boundaries
Love itself is selfless
Love is when he smiles
it warms your heart
Love is when you cry
when he breaks your heart
Love is when his actions hurt you
you put on a strong front
Love is when you are depressed
you still giggle over sweet memories

Love is when you want to stand by him
no matter what.

Love is when he tries to be adorable
to make you laugh
Love is when he hushes you
when you are scared
Love is when he chases you
around the mall despite the stares
Love is when he says
"I should've swallowed my ego earlier because I miss you"
after a fight
Love is when he says you are wonderful
Love is despite the prickly road
that hurts both, he still loves you.

That's my definition of love
What's yours?

What is your definition of love?

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:56:00 +0000

"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at him because you know it would hurt his feelings."

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

"When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared she won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only does she still love you, she loves you even more."

"There are 2 kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them."

"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."

"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

"If you want somebody to love you, then just be yourself. Some people try to act like somebody else, somebody the boy likes better. I think the boy isn't being very good if he does this to you and you should just find a nicer boy."

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

"Everyday we tell ourselves we're better off without each other,
But then every morning I wake up and realize
I love you more then the day before."

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it does not keep record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices when truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever"

Love isn't blind or deaf or dumb - in fact it sees far more than it will ever tell. It is going beyond yourself and stretching who you are for someone else. Being in love entails seeing someone as you wish they were: to love them is to see who they really are and still care for them. Love isn't bitter, but you can't have love without pain: sacrifice is the hallmark of love , the coin of love.

I want to be happy because hes happy
But how can I be happy knowing im not the one making him smile.

To love someone unconditionally means that you love the person exactly as they are, exactly as they were before, and exactly as they will be in the future – because people change all the time, so if you love the person, you will love them even if they become something you disagree with.

Love is not about you or your pleasure or your amusement. It’s not about what you get out of it or what the other person can give to you.

In order to truly understand love, you must first forget everything you have ever learned about it from society and anyone else (including what I just said). You are the only person who can tell you what love is. You have to get rid of everything you think you know first.

Breaking the Hiatus!

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 13:22:00 +0000

Oh my God. A week plus more till the major exam A2. I'm excited yet traumatized. I'm excited because I can't wait for it to be done and over with. And hopefully I will do excellent enough to be able to fly to Australia next year. Oh please oh please I can't bear staying for another semester! Free meee! I'm traumatized because I'm only half prepared and also because of the part of being afraid I uhmm.. let's just say I don't want to not be able to see Australia next year kay? I don't wanna jinx myself.

Nothing much happened today. Just went out for lunch with bro and wife in Uptown. Food there is great. Can't wait to be able to drive my sweetie there one day. Ps: I don't like it when workers stare. It's annoying.

Then off to Kota Damansara for my darling roomie Alia's open house. Most of my college mates were gone by the time I reached. Luckily there was Syaza, my bo. She calls me bim. So I call her bo. That makes us bimbo. HAHAHA. She used to be the number one bimbo. But apparently according to the likes of Alia and gang I displaced her which IS NOT FAIR! Oh well, since the definition of bimbo is pretty but an airhead, I'd be happy for the former. Heehee. But still Syaza is BOTH much more advanced than I am! Hellooooooo re-ranking pleaseeee!

Then, I went to Ikano to get my stationery. Anwar is so gonna get me for this. I finally announced to my mom I wanted to get a perm. Boyfie has been bugging me to get an Odette Yustman perm so I could be his personal Odette and he could drool all over me =_='' She was kinda okay which was surprising. I thought she was going to rupture into fits of nagging. But I think she still will once I get it. But eventually it would die away. So... HAHAHA. Will probably get my hair done once it's longer because it'll look short if I perm it now. Hopefully, I can surprise him.

Oh oh a very funny conversation went on between me and Anwar a few days ago.

Anwar: bla bla bla Cibai. [bla bla- can't remember what he said]
Mel : You called me WHAT?? [thank God he said it in a joking manner or I'd give him a tight slap]
Anwar: *giggles*
Mel: You do know what Cibai really means right?
Anwar: Yep.
Mel: Takpeeee how could you call me that. Fine, I'll call you the guy's version. Lan Ciao.
Anwar: Hi Cibai.
Mel: Imagine if I were to introduce you to people "Hey, this is my Lan Ciao" HAHAHA.
Anwar: Tu la. I'd say "This is my favourite Cibai"
Mel: OIII! How many Cibais you have laa??
Anwar: *Laughs* Nooo.. you are my only Cibai.
Mel: Eh that could be our pet names. I love you, Lan Ciao.
Anwar: I love you too, Cibai.

Note: For those who do not understand the terms Cibai and Lan Ciao. Cibai is a harsh word for a female's private part while Lan Ciao is for the male's. They are Chinese terms. Not sure if they are Cantonese or Mandarin.

Whoa. Wan Melissa Azleen actually swore the most that night. Not bad for a girl who rarely swears unless I'm really angry or in physical pain by knocking into completely opaque objects. Haha. But of course the pet names would NOT continue. We'd be the craziest vulgar couple alive!

The following text passage below is purposely hidden. Before highlighting, please do download "To Make You Feel My Love" by Kris Allen and listen while reading for atmospheric purposes. Haha. I dedicate this song to the one I love.

Sometimes I'd run out of ideas to show how much I love you. I'd beat myself up if I fail to let you feel the warmth of my love. If only you know how much I love you. I love you so much it aches me. I hope that one day you would stop comparing yourself with anyone else and believe that I genuinely love you from the bottom of my heart. I've never loved anyone this way. I don't think I even ever loved myself this way. You know that's true. I hope someday you'd stop comparing the fact that you were an affair and think I'd do the same to you. They are all bogus assumptions darling. I don't know how to convey to you that you are very different in my eyes. Only when I'm with you that I finally feel the real side of love. I'd put myself in front of a bullet for you. That's how much I love you. I love you in every genuine way. No sympathy, no just wanting a boyfriend because I'm lonely, no obligations. Despite all the tears, all the pricked thorns, all the angst-ridden drama, I love you beyond that to let my love for you tear into pieces. You saw through my naivety, my indecisiveness, my niceness beyond stupidity, you were harsh to make me stronger so I could stand up on my own two legs. You filled in the absence of my mum in those ways to help me protect myself. You pamper me like I'm your baby girl. Oh how much I love it I wish I could be both Maya and myself in the future. I love it when you need me. I love it when you say you love me in different ways. I will live every living day wishing you could hear my heartbeat and hear yourself in every beat.

Pressie!

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 13:28:00 +0000

This is a very pweety necklace baby gave me :D

Sho shweeet.

I came to class one day and he told me to check out my bag. I opened it and tadaaaaa..

I would leap on him and give him sloppy kishes but then it was the fasting month and we would be charged with PDA. Public Display of Affectioneee.. Hahahaha.

Awwwwwwwww thank you honeyyyy..

Look at the noteeeee.. It's cho cho twweeettt.. (wth? hahahaha)

For anyone who's visually lacking, here's what it says:

I love u Mellie. Hope this will bring out the shweetest smile from u. Like this! :)))

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Isn't he the sweetestttt?

Right now I'm hoping every Tom, Dick and Harry would come up to me and compliments it. And I'll proceed to brag.

"Aww.. Thank you. MY BOYFRIEND GAVE ME THISSSS!!" :D :D :D

Some already did. Heeee..

Heeehee. I'm ecstatic!

I bought him a Quicksilver pencil case during the mid-sem holidays but I realized I did not take a picture of it :( Sowiee..

I've been hunting for a pencil case for him because his old one looks....well, old. And I just pity looking at him struggling to search for things in his pencil case because it's so tight. Like a new undie that you buy and it clamps your butt when you first wear it. It's hard to even steal anything from his pencil case without getting your hand trapped inside XD

Heehee.

I just wanted to make it more special so I sewed "I love u" on the back. I'm not very good at sewing unlike my mom. She sews all of my baju kurung and hers every year. She's supermom! I actually pricked my finger while I was at it. Just like those corny cliche movies where the girl sews something special for her lover and you'll be like SHE'S-FREAKING-DEFINITELY-GONNA-PRICK-HER-FINGER-IT'S-SO-GOD-DAMN-OBVIOUS-EVERY-MOVIE-DOES-IT. I'm beginning to doubt family skills are inheritable. Sigh.

When I was done, I checked the back of the sewing and YES as expected it was god damn messy like the thread from the letter "I" would end up at "U". I mean like wth?? But but I cleverly covered it with my sticker name :D

Love you bloo.

Beauty and the BEAST!

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 16:16:00 +0000

Ohmygod!

Look at that BEAST! I was taking some stationery from my table and I didn't notice it. I only noticed it when I put the stationery back! And I had a split-second spasm, heart-attack, stroke all in one go.

I SERIOUSLY HATE INSECTS!

They creep the hell outta me. Send shivers down my spine at the mere sight of those fugly beings. GROSS! If there's any flying or non-flying insects in the room, I'd be the first to run around screaming my head off like a circus girl. Then, my lovely friends would shriek on purpose to freak me out even more. "Mel look! Behind you!"

And I'd scream so loud that I could tear down the Empire States building.

I mean look at that thing! It looks like some kind of bio project! A mutated insect! I'm entomophobic. which means I'm shit scared of insects! At first I thought it was plastic. Maybe Dayna or Alia wanted to pull a prank on me because they know of my phobia. And it looked very in between fake or very real. Since it didn't move, I left it there.

30 minutes later..

IT MOVED! Not that I saw it moved but I know IT MOVED. It was about an inch further in.

I concluded that it is not FAKE.

Then came Syaza, who took the ruler and picked on it. It flew a bit suddenly with quite a fluttering sound which made us scream like some bimbos. And which also woke Elle up. And then it never stopped moving. It was clearly woken up from its deep sleep because it was pacing up and down my lamp with its freaking kick-ass antennae that I swear to God look like twigs.

And then she left me and wished me good luck. Damn her. Lol. Damn you Ja!

No no it didn't end there. Baby boo called me and I whined and shrieked while he laughed at me. Darn you Anwar! Suddenly, he too shrieked and I swear to God I thought the insect somehow flew to him over the phone or something. Illogical, I know. But I lost all of my sanity back then. Apparently, Tottenham scored against Manchester United and that was why he shrieked. Yes thank you baby. I'm sure the thrilling news helped in my frantic moment. DOUBLE DARN YOU!

I watched as it crawled up the wall and I was still on the phone with baby. And then came my heartiest shriek. A big fat-ass lizard appeared out of nowhere from behind my study table. As soon as I shrieked it went back in. And then it came out again eying the mutant bug. I was like thinking "Are you serious Mr Lizard?? That's a huge BUG there and I don't think its big FAT ASS can fit into your mouth!" The second time the lizard came out, the bug dropped gracefully onto my pillow. Yes thank you. You helped a lot too Mr Lizard. I shall repay you with a nice spray of my aerosol fragrance some day.

I ran to Pah's room to ask for some help. Lyn was terrified too. Everyone who saw it said they have never seen anything like it. I'm beginning to suspect it's an undiscovered species of an insect. I'd send it to a bio lab to have a look but I scratched that off my mind considering the fact that I'd die of anxiety to even touch it. Let alone trying to package it. Eeeewwwwww.

Alas, Pah beat it off my pillow outside the balcony.

Hoorayyy!

Yeah, that's my night insect adventure. I'm all sweaty now from the ordeal. I shall go take my bath and pray I won't have to lay eyes on any more creepy crawlies for tonight.

Regrets

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 17:09:00 +0000

Sometimes things make me wonder.

I know this two people. A boyfriend and a girlfriend. He once said to her his no 1 biggest regret was letting his ex go. Ouch. I know. She told me she felt like bread crumbs. She felt that despite him telling her he loves her more than his ex, she felt like just a fungus on her big toe. She said she wasn't good enough. She could've said stuff that her ex did for her, but she knew better than to compare. She doesn't believe in comparison. She loves him for who he is and though she has expectations but never using her ex as her benchmark. But for him, he just lets it out. Though she was the one who made him tell his biggest regret but other things he told himself.

I mean I could understand I guess. For a boyfriend to tell his girlfriend his biggest regret was to let his ex go, it's like indirectly suggesting his new girlfriend wasn't good enough. Despite how much she tries to show she loves him. Imagine if he regrets letting his ex go, that means he's saying he'd rather still be with his ex then and obviously wouldn't have gotten together with his current girlfriend right? Usually people would say "If this didn't happen, it wouldn't have brought me to you. I wouldn't be together with you, the person I love so much"

It has been months but the girlfriend tells me she's still haunted by it. And by everything else he said to her. Of course she feels all this silently. He wouldn't understand, she said. She reminisces word by word and their fights especially their biggest fight yet recently every night before she sleeps. Sometimes tears would burn her pillow. How heart-wrenching.

Yet so many times, she felt so attached that she constantly wants to text him to tell him how she feels, most of the time he doesn't reply. And he still says she doesn't show him how much he meant to her. How much she needed him. He almost wants her to get down on her knees and cry to prove it which she almost did literally.

He could stand his ex for 3 years. For him to say he couldn't stand her for a mere 8months, she must be terrible to him.

I feel for her. So much.

DOOM DOOM

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 09:53:00 +0000

I'm forced to concede that..

I DREAD GOING BACK TO COLLEGE TOMORROW. GAAAAHHHH.

I DOWAAANNN.

*Stomp stomp*

Imma tie myself to my bed. Though come to think of it, my bed frame scarcely has anywhere you can tie something to, let alone a 104pounds of bimbo-tic human being.

Oh yes I've lost 2kgs! Nyehe. I love my metabolism. If I were to gain weight it would never exceed 50 and I could lose weight fairly easily. No exercise. No diet. Okay maybe just cut down on snacks. But don't try this at home. This may not work for everyone. So if you wonder why your weighing scale hasn't gone down but you followed meticulously to my "healthy lifestyle" don't blame me.

RIGHT. Back to my rantings!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa no want go back college. Omg just thinking about the workload and exam in less than 2months is mentally abusive. But but if I were to pass, I could fly by next year. YES!

Earlier, I preferred being in college because I could run away from my mom nagging me all day long. It's like her hobby. Funny how moms like stuff like gardening or baking, she just loves nagging. I have to try not to make mistakes or else she'd kill me ever so viciously. No matter how I prepare a front line of infantry, or janissary or mortars, OH MY GOD she brings in her best weapon of all. Her nagging. Poof there goes my army. Maybe the Soviet Army should bring in moms instead of nuclear.

But now, I want my mommyyy.. :( I want my bedddddd. My air-condddd. My toiletttt. Toilet sounds so barbaric. I want my bathroooomm.

Despite being quite lonely at home, well because I have no siblings I could talk to or chase around the house and also because someone rarely reply my smses, I find my solitude pleasannttt. I got so worked up with studies and homework that I started talking to myself as in explaining to myself verbally about what I study. Omg I'm crazy. But but it worked. I understand better. I find that it helps the communication between myself and my brain. Heehee.

Omg I tentatively agree that I'm screwed up. @_@

Tentatively. Heee

Boo!

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:39:00 +0000

I'm like so fuh-reeking bored.

I was so motivated to come down to read but the boyfriend wanted to "chill" in his dorm. Boohoo.

A bit upset but didn't wanna make a big fuss. So yeah.

He's god damn lucky.

Anyhoo, at least I got passersby to humour me. I was online by the stairs in the dark because I could not get a line at the study area. I was neatly hidden behind a wall at the corner of the stairs. I heard footsteps and..

*chatter chatter* *passes by the corner*

Passerby 1: Astarghfirullahalazim. Terkejut akuu!
Passerby 2: ALLAH! Melissa! Apa duduk-duduk kat sini? Nasib baik tak terpijak!
Passerby 3: Ahhhh! Mel! You scared me.
Passerby 4: (same person as passerby 2) ALLAH! Kat sini lagi? Dengan lampu laptop kat muka. Takut la!

And a few more. At first it wasn't funny. Then when I realized each and every person who passed by me mistakened me for some supernatural chick :D, I started giggling to myself. Heee heee heeee.

Boy am I bored. :( Darn Anwar.

Anyway, still saddened :( Makes me regret for being a fucking procrastinator and slave to my own lust. Could've done so much better. I missed by one fucking point from getting full points! I think I lack iron. I read it in the newspaper. That's why I was constantly tired last semester. And inevitably made me a big fat lethargic ass. Gah.

Coming back to college last Sunday, I was watching the moving scenery. I saw a nice green landscape at Lake Garden. I imagined the both of us lying down on the grass, laughing at life and then turn to lock stares, looking deep into each other's eyes. I imagined cuddling with him on blue ocean beach at night looking at the stars. I imagined travelling places with him I've never been to. Just me and him. Without my parents nor his.

He got full points. And the chance to possibly go to UK if Mara doesn't go bankrupt sending 70 over people to UK. I missed by 1 point and I may have to just go to Australia.

I pray hard each night. I never miss a prayer. I need guidance from Him. I need strength. I feel closer to Him now.

The heart aches.

I dread separation. I dread it so bad.

Notice!

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 17:30:00 +0000

If you are puzzled about how somehow my blog has taken you back into time, worry not!

I'm just up to something.

*evil grin*

Been deleting some stupid posts.

For something new. Hope I'll get to it soon :)

Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Fri, 01 May 2009 08:26:00 +0000

I came back! Finally! Woohoo. After decades of staying at my hostel. I honestly felt so foreign watching all the buildings in KL at night while I was in the car. Must be god damn long since I was home. I miss home so sooo much. I miss my mommy and dadddyyy...

Daddy brought me straight to my favourite steamboat yesterday! Yum. And it felt a lil nostalgic. It reminded me of a second best perfect day :) I remembered the humour when my darling daringly ordered tomyam soup and it was bloody spicy. The worst thing is I was sharing soup with him. So yeah there we went perspiring like pigs. Snickering at each other all the way. In the end mom offered to trade her soup with ours. Awww.. she saved us from the possibility of dehydration from all the fluid lost in our sweat kan kan baby? Heee..

Oh oh and how I made him eat my favourite yogurt ice-cream which he hates. HAHAHA. Ice cream smudged on his mouth and nose. Memories memories.. I longed for my baby there again. I never felt so carefree during that moment. Just running around like lil kids :D Poor Natasha, Maya, Luqman and Norman are gonna have parents THEIR AGE. Hahahaha. Whoopee..

I avoided telling him I came back because I wanted to surprise him online. But the plan was wrecked because of some personal reasons. Sigh.

Oh well.

I heard this song. "Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You" that my mom played while she's doing her treadmill right this moment. Haha. And I felt so sentimental all of a sudden and decided to dedicate this song to my bloo. The lyric is so powerful. And hit right at home. Evert word. No other lyric can represent how I feel for you sayang. Listen to it yeah blooey? I love you and nothing's ever EVER gonna change my love for you :)

Till then. Hopefully I'll have more blog-posting urges yeah? HAHAHA. AS exam in less than 2 weeks *gasps*

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long.

With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong.

Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't wanna live without you.

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love.

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through but
Nothing's gonna change my love for you.....

If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star.

I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are.

So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't want to live without you....

Spell Mengada For Me

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 16:56:00 +0000

Ah..

This post is to pamper and pujuk the babyboy.

Why? Because he's merajuk-ing. Why he merajuk-ing? Because I teased the hell out of him.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Yeah babeh I'm on a rollllll.. Last time, YOU teased me like crazzzzyy... Now I take over. BAHAHAHA.

He has a tendency of mis-saying words. Heeeee.. Oh oh like he said panadol instead of popcorn. I was like who watches movies munching on panadols? Gahahaha. Omg. I feeling nauseous just imagining that. Yuck. I hate medicines. I mean they are two DIFFERENT words.

Or or he said poker instead of pool when in actual fact we were going to the arcade to play pool. I was like riiiggghhttt.. Let's play poker on a pool table. HAHAHAHAHA omg images of him hitting the balls with cards. So cuuteee..

Or or he said eat instead of drink. I was like let's eat milo and drink nasi goreng. HAHAHAHA.

OMG.

What am I doing? I'm supposed to pujuk him. HAHAHAHA.

Sowie baby. Alalala... sayang..don't la merajuk. Heeeeee... Baby bucuk.

I love my baby bucuk.

Bucuk bucuk.

Heee..

LALALALA

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 06:54:00 +0000

Baby is BACKKKKKKKKK!!

:D :D :D

WeLcOmE HoMeee sweetie

Ladeeedaaaaa..deeedoooo.

*Pops champagne*

*Dances across the room*

The Wait

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 03:17:00 +0000

(omfg so fugging cuteeee. that's my baby right there XD XD)

3 hours till babybloo is back.

Whoopeeee...

Currently listening to "Thinking of You" by Katy Perry. The lyrics really hit home. How can I settle for second best when I've had the best. I've tasted perfection. You're my perfection :)

Thinking of You

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of a winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the water's I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...

The video is sooo cliche. Pffft. But the military guy is smokin' hot. Too bad he died in the video. Wooo. Heeee baby not a celebrity crush. Just a comment :D :D Eleeeeh you comment on Kelly Clarkson boleeeeeehhh... Tambah crush pulak tuuuuuuu..

Hmph. Mewajuk.

Teeeheee.

I miss you.

Emptiness KILLS.

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 02:19:00 +0000

It's 4 hours more till babybloo comes back.

*hopeful*

I just finished cringing at the sharp 2-minute pain on my left kidney or appendix or whatever. It came right after butterflies in my stomach.

It's an absolute torture waiting. Especially when I need him so much right now. Cannot. Stand. IT. CANNOT.

I was driven crazy by non-other than yours truly, myself. Ok not so much by myself. More by the stinging smack-in-the-face fact that college is about to start soon and the mounting work. GROANS.

WTF WTF WTF.

Babbbyyyyy...

Yesterday, I couldn't help but have images of me hugging him so tight, hushing him and murmuring into his ears that no matter what happens I'd still love him from the bottom of my heart. No typhoon or Hurricane Katrina can change that.

I was so restless. Worrying. Stressing. Fidgeting. At every alert on MSN, Yahoo, Facebook, I jumped from my seat and looked up from my book. Though I knew that it was impossible that he'll be on because he was probably busy packing or on the flight back home. Somewhere inside me wished that every glimmer of possibility it could be him. I dunno. Maybe the airplane provided wireless. GAHAHA. :( :(

Sayang, I just want you to know that I'm truly sorry for what had happened between us for the past few days. I know it hurt you real bad, just as much as I hurt myself. It's nice to now know that you can't live without me :) Or is that a bad thing? :-O I dunno. Heeee.. But neither can I. I love you so much.

I just wish what had happened would somehow make things take a better turn. Let's turn over a new leaf. I know we've "started over" countless of times after our countless fights but this time let's really start over. I'll play my part in mending my mistakes and you play yours.

I wish I didn't let my emotions and depressions from what had happened lately (you know what events I mean) and stress from studies get to me that I seemed to not even be able to bear the slightest bit more of hurt or sadness. I ended up venting it out, though not all, because I still have some sense in my mind. It somehow seemed too much for my barriers and barricades of my heart to bear that they just broke down. It broke the "understanding Melissa walls" down.

But I couldn't help myself. As much as I tried to control, as much as I tried to comfort you, nothing was even working. It's like I, your girlfriend can't even help you emotionally. Because you just didn't wanna open your door for anything. Not even for me. I felt so helpless. I always hit a dead end. Though before this, I turned back. But 2 days ago, I was blocked both ways. Despite that, now I'm willing to break down that wall of a dead end. I just hope I'll find my way through with less encounter with dead ends.

All night I listened to songs that just clicked with my heart and what I felt, especially the ones that mean something to us. I know how much you like "Stay With Me" (I actually wrote Satay. Uuuuuu... Satay With Me. HISY Melissa SPOIL THE MOMENT ONLY) because the lyrics means something. I was listening to it on repeat and as much as I love the song too, it drove me up the wall with intensified need for you to be right here with me and hug me so tight that you'll never let me go.

No one. No one could make me feel better. I needed you. I need you now. And I need you... for the future. Without you, it's like painting Mona Lisa without the paint. It's like painting my life without colours. It's like splashing you at bumper boat without the water. It's like seeing bloo without its blue. It's like not having Madam Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends cartoon. Cannot. CANNOT. Must have blooo. He's so BUH-LAAAR-DY cute. Omg did I just spoil the moment again?

You'll be my bloo forever. My one and only. And I'll be that whatshername pink lil cutie. Eh wait. She's stalking bloo but bloo doesn't like her kan? DOOOWAAAAAANN. Aaaaaaa... I wanna be the stalkeee. You'll be the stalker yeh yeh? Heeeee.... But in this case, I actually like you but just wanna play hard to get. HeEeEeeee..

Baby come back faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassst.

I miss you I miss you I miss you.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Oh btw people, I actually wanted to blog during the hols. But too stressed up. Gaaah.. SOwieee.. will try to update.

Taaaaa..

Newsflash!!

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 17:40:00 +0000

Omg I just won 4600 chips in poker!!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Hisy Melissa stop playing stop playing! Almost 2am!! Tomorrow you stay away from the laptop young lady!! Or I'll pluck your body hair and flush your head in the toilet bowl!!

Maybe I should change my user's password to something that I'll be sure to forget. Like maggotcheesebellydancing. Nah. Too memorable right? Gaaaaah.

*chains laptop*

When 3 Days Seem Like 3 Months

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 16:53:00 +0000

Song that is playing on my iPod on repeat:

We Belong Together by Mariah Carey

(Ooh, ooh, sweet love, yeah)

I didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you so
I should've held on tight, I never should've let you go
I didn't know nothing, I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself

I could not fathom I would ever be without your love 
Never imagined I'd be sitting here beside myself 
'Cause I didn't know you, 'cause I didn't know me 
But I thought I knew everything 
I never felt 

The feeling that I'm feeling now that I don't hear your voice 
Or have your touch and kiss your lips 'cause I don't have a choice 
Oh, what I wouldn't give to have you lying by my side 
Right here, 'cause baby 
(We belong together) 

When you left I lost a part of me 
It's still so hard to believe 
Come back baby, please 
'Cause we belong together 

Who else am I gon' lean on when times get rough 
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone 'till the sun comes up 
Who's gonna take your place, there ain't nobody better 
Oh, baby baby, we belong together 

I can't sleep at night when you are on my mind 
Bobby Womack's on the radio saying to me:
"If you think you're lonely now" 
Wait a minute this is too deep (too deep) 
I gotta change the station so I turn the dial 
Trying to catch a break and then I hear Babyface 
I only think of you and it's breaking my heart 
I'm trying to keep it together but I'm falling apart

I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things, crying
Trying to figure out where the hell I went wrong
The pain inflicted in this song ain't even half of what I'm feeling inside
I need you, need you back in my life, baby 
(We belong together)

When you left I lost a part of me 
It's still so hard to believe 
Come back baby, please 
'Cause we belong together 

Who else am I gon' lean on when times get rough 
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone 'til the sun comes up 
Who's gonna take your place there ain't nobody better 
Oh, baby baby, we belong together, baby!

When you left I lost a part of me 
It's still so hard to believe 
Come back baby, please 
'Cause we belong together 

Who I'm gonna lean on when times get rough 
Who's gonna talk to me 'til the sun comes up 
Who's gonna take your place there ain't nobody better 
Oh, baby baby, we belong together

The words in bold are those that represents what I'm feeling now. This song is about the girl made a mistake or something and he left her. Well that's not at all the case. Haha.

I miss his Ralph Lauren smell. Aaaaaaa.. I miss movie cuddles. I want movie cuddleeeesss... I want I waaaaant. I wanna watch Confessions of A Shopaholic. Looks cute. Heee.. Don't know if he'd want to. Or or that movie with The Rock. I forgot the title. Something to do with witch. Haha.

I'm off to bed. Wanna cuddle Mr Apple all night long :)

Toodles. I love you baby. Have lotsa fun and take care of yourself k? If you demam again, I'll personally smack your backside and put you on drips! Mwah.

Ramblings

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 11:37:00 +0000

Ah.. I actually forgot to upload this picture at Genting. It looks so sweet. Maybe because it's one of the clearest I could get off my phone. Haha. 5MP but sucks when there's low lighting or exceptionally bright light. It's not cybershot that's why.

Gaah..

What a mundane day. I did not exactly couch potato. But acting pretty much like a couch potato. Did some math but got intensely addicted and distracted by poker in Facebook. Won and lost. Still not as crazy as Aman to lose 15k. God.

My brain is fried. Gaah..

Got abit upset today. Just feel a lil less special. And honestly a lil envious. All my life I dream to travel. But until now I never got far. Don't have to rub it in how I went "over the sea" syg. Though I'm in no position to complain. I lead a far better life than the vast majority of the world. That's why I'm persistent to further my studies in UK. It has been what I've been dreaming of. Earlier, it was almost impossible because the choices were strictly only between Australia and New Zealand. But now that MARA has revised it's conditions, there's a glimmer of hope as long as the economy ceases to go any lower.

I hope someone too would want to work hard enough to strike at the chance to go to UK, now that he seems to love it there. Would you baby? It would be so wonderful. Studying in the country I would love to study in with the person I love. Paris is just a train ride away. Venice. Europe. UK is perfect in my eyes though I have already instilled loyalty to my country in myself. Gahaha.

I have to work it. It's what I've always wanted. I will not settle for second best. Although in the end, economy does get worse (touch wood) and it all crumbles, at least I know I did my best. There's always Masters.

Anyway, I was kinda upset. Didn't receive the response I expected. Or the response I'd give to someone whom my heart has been missing. It was a pinch. Maybe he didn't mean it. Maybe he doesn't know it. Maybe he doesn't feel it. Maybe he's just oblivious to how I interpret how he responded or how it made me feel, as always. I have to spell it out everytime.

Stop being so morbid already Melissa!

Been doing this stoopid integration question all day that my brain lost some of its wiring. Just had dinner. Rendang. I'm suddenly very into rendang. Maybe because my darling loves it. Not that I didn't like it before. But it definitely came out of the background now. The one we had at Old Town was spectacular. Awww.. how he was so pampered that I had to peel his chicken for him and feed him. Hisy.. manjanya my baby! Heeee..then I would feed through his nose and he'd have a rendang-smeared nose. Or or I would pretend to feed him and when he was about to open his mouth, I fed myself instead XD XD

Rendang, rendang..

By the way yesterday I had dinner at Las Carritas to celebrate my Giant Bra's birthday. Ah.. bras have birthdays you wonder. Hahahah. My big brader of mine. I dub him Giant Bra. It's not at all the slightest bit of a misnomer. Heee.. if you see his size. Especially his sexy round bum that he's very proud of that is "sexier than J-Lo's" as he says it.

The place serves really good food. My baby would love it. The meat there is so tender and tasteful. Not one food that we ordered tasted below average. I realize they have lotsa cheese in their menu. And meat. Lalala. Plus the service is excellent. The assistant manager had a very unique way of entertaining customers and they loved him. We loved him. Workers were friendly. Kids would watch Tom and Jerry at the bar and they would entertain them while their parents sit at normal table and have a nice dinner. The 3 guys next to our table didn't believe it when the waiter claimed they serve the best margarita in KL. So the assistant manager instructed the bar to give them free margaritas to try. Awesome right?

I'm not surprised if the restaurant rakes in regulars.

Ah.. yes. Finally I solved the question. Amazing how if I wasn't multi-tasking I would've solved it in a jiffy.

*smacks herself*

Now I made it a point that today is the last day I'll be procrastinating and be a lethargic ass. Stay away from lappie. Stay away from POKER. Can I somehow ban poker from myself? Can I can I??

Now on to Manchester United and Liverpool game. WTF. Ok ok. Let me just suck in my ego balls (Do I even have them? @_@) and admit that Man U did suck and Liverpool had their head in the game while Man U was a far cry from having theirs in the game. They played like it was a practice on the field or something. Liverpool took it like it was a competition.

I mean what's with the losing their ball here and there? And I don't mean their dangling balls. Liverpool was far more tactical and arranged. Most of them, Man U, they ran like some menace gone wild and they expect to control the ball like that? No wonder they kept losing the ball. Rooney, Park who ever. They weren't that bad until Vidic got sent out and they seemed to be distraught or something. Giggs and all just stood there during the free kick not to mention Van Der Sar. He just watched the ball went in helplessly. Sigh. Third goal was dumb too. Again Van Der Sar stood there. I think he thought the ball was too high to go in but it did.

*slumps head and bangs head repeatedly on the table*

On the contrary, Torres played well, I have to admit. Oh God I love his hair.

Only his hair mind you! Gerrard was a bit off though. Mascherano had nothing better to do than tackling people. Lol.

Overall, Man U kept losing the ball. Passings were horrible. Barely anyone was up front at times. Where were all the forwards when someone tried to score with Liverpoolians here and there and no one to pass the ball to? After Vidic was off the field, Man U totally lost their momentum. Van Der Sar especially seemed to have lost contact with the world or something. 4 goals. Must be a huge smack in his face for his clean record for all every other saved balls.

Gaaah. Thank God my baby isn't here to tease me like there was no tomorrow. He'd probably trash me till dawn about my team's horrible loss. The hugest loss in a looong time. Probably even drink 3 cups of coffee just to stay up and tease me all night long. But then.. I miss it. Aaaaaaaaaa... Sob.

7 days till baby's home

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 16:02:00 +0000

SURPRISE BABYYY!

Heeeee..

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 12:55:00 +0000

It was drama. Almost like an expedition or Amazing Race. Ah.. yes yes.. The drama queen.

I was struggling with a bag of books, a dick-thick (dictionary, excuse me *cough cough*) Organic Chemistry book and last but not least my laptop. Oh oh and an umbrella as it was drizzling a little. My back was almost to my breaking point. All in the name of a mission.

Shh...

Even almost got run over by a car because I kept stopping in my track. Laptop slipping down, bag handle slipping down, umbrella toppling over my shoulder. About as bad as having a nip-slip. Heee.

But my heart knew I wanted to do it. My last chance.

I really can't imagine the whole week without him. It's LESS THAN 12 hours since he went back home, I'm already overwhelmed with such intense when-you-miss-someone feeling, usurping each millimeter per second in my heart. He's not even in UK yet.

No amount of mental preparation can help me cope with his absence. My credit sure can go a long way this month. Haha. I already have a mental image of me listening to songs to sway me along while indulging myself in a pool of missing-Faris-Anwar-Bin-Zainal-Abidin period. Wanna know my list? Wanna know wanna know?

1. Missing You Like Crazy - The Moffats
2. Days Gone By - Gavin Mikhail (This song will always remind me of him)
3. Stay With Me - Danity Kane (one of my baby's favourite song)
4. I Finally Found Someone - Bryan Adams
5. Lucky - Jason Mraz ft. Colbie Caillat (resembles us very much)
5. Fall For You - Secondhand Serenade
6. Gravity - Sarah Bareilles
7. Give Me Words to Speak - Aaron Shust (one of our songs)
8. Say Goodnight - Clickfive
9. I Wanna Be With You - Mandy Moore
10. I Hate This Part Right Here - Pussycat Dolls

These are top songs that have the inkling of being played over and over again. I'd still be listening to other songs. I'll put my iPod in shuffle and skip to songs that either kill my soul by making me miss him more or a remedy for the lonely. Sometimes you contemplate on whether the sentimental songs you listen to that you know will inevitably lead you to reminisce about someone make you sadder or fill your heart with warm feelings.

Well, for me, it's a bit of both. And somehow I find it rather pleasant to ride in the car at night, listening to these songs, and walk down the memory lane of our times together. But sometimes it's morbidly sad to be walking in malls alone wishing he's there by my side. He may not know it or refuse to believe, he just doesn't know how much I cherish our memories, every second of it, and every part of him.

My most recent fondest memory with him that I'll put in a box with a lil angel ballerina on top and lock it in my heart and treasure forever is the Genting trip with him. It was undenyingly the best day of my life, 6th of March 2009.

Sayang, I hope you and Aisha will have a safe trip to UK and back together with your mom. Send my regards to Qin.

I deliberately did not respond much to your smses because this post and the next post await you. It might hurt a little if you get upset because you'd think I don't care but it's worth it if in the end this puts a smile on your face. I just want you to know that you hold a special place in my heart and I love you so much. I hope you feel special.

The Perfect Love

When I look into your eyes,
I see heaven in disguise,
I know that time will fly,
But my love for you will never die.

When I have you here with me,
There's no one else I'd rather see,
There's no where else I'd rather be,
The perfect love just you and me.

I love you sayang. More and more each passing day :)

Heaven On Earth

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 12:54:00 +0000

6th of March 2009 marks a beautiful spot in my life, my heart and my soul :)

I could remember it vividly. The day before, the day itself and the day after. Not a single memory of a split second escapes from airhead brain. Hee.

I was so ecstatic. So psyched. So thrilled. So filled with anticipation. Anything synonymous to the feelings mentioned.

It was pretty much last minute though we planned the week before. But the decisions and confirmations were rather last minute. In spite of the fact (whoa I learnt this from Mr Tan, baby. Heee) that things were settled a little late, it turned out well. In fact, just perfect. Not almost. But just perfect. Maybe even more than perfect. Definitely more than anything I could ask for.

The week before, I kinda brought up that I really wished we could have a trip to Genting together. Anwar suggested that we could go during the week of Nadwah Islamiah because his mom would be in UK by then. Back home, I asked my parents about it and my mom told my dad to try to get tickets for us.

I kinda delayed it and procrastinated in asking my dad for updates later on because I didn't want it to seem like I was just excited to call them about Genting but not to actually CALL them. Geddit? Haha.

Then finally on Thursday, the day where we were all supposed to go back home and more importantly the day before Friday (duuhh), the designated Friday where we were supposed to go to Genting, I called my dad. He said he booked the bus tickets at 10.00am but he wasn't sure about the theme park tickets. I told him I didn't mind if he couldn't get them, I'd be willing to pay. 30bucks is nothing compared to the value of time I'd have with my darling :)

Oh oh and I was actually trying to get my mom on the phone but my calls wouldn't go through. GROANS. I was meaning to ask if Anwar could stay over the night before because he had to wake up really early. Bangi fella. Hee.. But then I kinda chickened out because I know she wouldn't be quite okay with it. Despite that, I did try and try but no luck. Her phone probably either died or she flushed it down the toilet bowl by accident. Pffftt... typical of moms. Teehee. Lucky me my mom is computer illiterate or I'd be dead if she stumbles upon my blog XD

Ironically, Anwar and I always have the tendency to have a misunderstanding between us the night before we go out or something. Sheesh. Yeah and so we did. It was because I wanted to sleep early as I wanted to be fresh and energetic the next day and he got upset about it. Sigh. *Heart breaks* So yeah. Whatever. Don't wanna spoil my enthusiasm right now. Heeeeee...

The next morning I got nagged and scolded for delaying time and missed the golden opportunity to collect my IC because there wouldn't be enough time. Yeah mom, if you knew the way to KL Sentral, we could've made it with so much time to spare. But you don't. So I have to take the train!

Anyhoos, I reached Sentral like an hour early. Almost had a heart attack because my baby said he was just about to board the train about 8.30am, I think. He lives all the way in Bangi weyhhhh.. Then hung around abit. Didn't have breakfast so I went to 7-11 to buy some fishie balls and cincau or in a more sophiscated way Herbal Jelly. Heeee.. I love fishie balls. And I love cincauuu.. Yumm.. But I don't fancy Yeo's cincau drink. I'd stick to Season's the next time. Yuck.

I got dumb and actually left my stuff at the counter after paying. I was like "Eh, how come I came out of the store empty-handed? I thought I bought stuff or was I sleep-buying?" Ah.. yes. Even a stoopid lil kid would know what my baby would do next. Tease me like the world's gonna end. "Whoa you're so generous. Donating to 7-11 workers" bla bla. WHATEVER sayang. I'm deaf I'm deaaafff... Caaaannnooottt heeearrr yooouu..

Then, we boarded the bus all the way to Skyway. Uuuuu... all the way to SkyWAY. Way and skyWAY. Geddit geddit? Wahaha. Oh how I amuse myself. *cough* Pardon me. Heeee..

Whoa it was like a miracle. Skyway was QUEUELESS. Eh is that a word? But it's not underlined in red. Or maybe because it's capitalized. Wait. Lemme try. Queueless. Ah.. yes yes it's a word :D What the hell? Haha.

Oh oh did I mention my baby has leaking bladder? Sayang, you go to the loo more times than you probably changed diapers in a day!! Where's a cork when you need one? Eh wait. Can't fit. WAHAHAHA. Hisy hisy. Stop Melissa STOOOPP.

The journey in the cable car would've been a tad bit more perfect if it wasn't for the lost old man who shared car with us. ISH. Such a lamp-post! But... what the heck kan kan baby? HEEEEEEEeeee...

When we reached WHOAAAAA all the rides were soooo sooooo queuelesss. OMG. Never in my life have I seen a not-kuih-lapis queue for rides. Anwar and I decided it was perfect timing. We went on a day where we had a holiday because of a college event (Nadwah Islamiah) where no other schools in Malaysia had holidays unless you count Kelantan. And it was a day during which his mom was in UK. Or his mom wouldn't have allowed him to come.

I think that was the first time that I went on more than 4 rides and even went again and again without having to queue more than 10minutes. My personal favourite was definitely... *giggles giggles* the Bumper Boat. Kan kan sayang? WAHAHAHA. I got to wet him. Gee.. sounds wrong. Oh well. He didn't know the technique to make the splash go to the other person and I knew howww. Wheeee.. So he ended up getting splashed most of the time whenever we bumped boats. Your expressions were priceless baby. HEEEE..

And then it was the Sungai Rejang Flume Ride. I liked it because I could hug him so tight and feel so safe, seeking refuge from the splashes of water. Teehee. I almost squeezed the life out of him because I held on so tight when the boat went down steeply. Whoops. Sowieee.. :D

Oh oh and we went to Snow World. It was awesome. We chased each other like small kids throwing ice. Sat on that round thingy and went down the slide. The VERY bumpy slide. Omg my bum. Oh oh and the iglooo.. Heeee...Heeee.. Sayang, shhhh... XD XD

Then it was the Laser Maze thingy. Sounded interesting. It would've been if it was much bigger like a proper field of laser maze. Ooohh.. heeee... Laser Maze too kan kan?

My parents came up for dinner around 6.30pm. Had buffet. And I was dying to ask my mom if Anwar could stay over. As I had predicted, she wasn't quite okay.

During the journey back to KL, I was soo tired and sleepy but I couldn't sleep because I was still somehow hoping to ask again if he could stay over. I was almost teary-eyed seeing Anwar being so tired and not so well. I couldn't imagine having him having to wait for the train and the 45-minute train ride and waiting for a cab to his house. It broke my heart. The intense feeling that I had when we were nearing my house, I was REALLY dying to ask. My heart was racing a 500-metre run.

In the end, I did. And YAYYYYY. Heeeee.. I felt like the whole world was smiling upon me. Only God knew how thankful I was to him. Seriously. Sayang, you mean that much to me. Mwah. I woke him up to tell him and he was dumbfounded. Heeee.. Silly baby.

My baby got so worried that my parents would hate him so he made it a point that we studied at night and kept our hands to ourselves XD I went to sleep feeling and knowing he was just in the room next to mine. It was heaven on earth. Pleasant sigh.. I love you so so much.

I had the greatest day with the greatest ending. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I wouldn't trade you for the universe.

I love you.

She wishes..

noreply@blogger.com (Melissa) — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 02:22:00 +0000

She wishes there were more time that she's being cuddled and consoled..
She was a vulnerable being and she still is now..
Though she wants to protect, as a girl, she wishes to be protected as well..
She wishes for her tears to be wiped away..
She feels she's being hurt more times than she's protected..
Maybe she should find her own shelter..
Or maybe just curl up in a corner..
She slips into depresssion..
Always worrying when's the next time she'll step into a bomb trap..
Blows her up into bits and pieces..
She's trying very hard, very, very hard to avoid..
Hiding the fact that she's upset to avoid more bombs coming her way..
Emotions..
Emotions can be a pernicious poison seeping into someone's mind..
Causing hurt not only to the yourself but to the person you love..
Or sceptically the person you THINK you love..
Maybe you don't..
How else to explain the heart that you have to hurt someone that way..
She wishes that emotions were well-controlled..
She wishes there was strength to block it out..
To not let them overwhelm the mind and make someone does or says the unthinkable..
She kept it inside, she tries to muffle her cries..
Finally one day, they heard her crying..
They asked and demanded..
She refused to tell..
They must not know..They must not know..
She wants to protect..
The question is, for how long can she survive the bruises and wounds of this war?